My last post on The Way I See It on Blogger.com was my joint criticism with Booker Rising’s Shay about Halle Berry’s upcoming child being born out of wedlock. If anyone is looking for me change my opinion, that is not going to happen anytime soon. As the title of the post says, I remain firm in my opinion about Halle Berry. I still say that life would have been easier that if she found the right man (with a good moral ethical background—and I am not going to discuss what that means here!) and oh yes GOT MARRIED and had a child. People will say, “Well she has the money” but I say let’s forget about the money for a moment and think of the child she is bringing into the world. You need a female parent and a male parent—shaping, molding, caring,nurturing and literally providing the mental and psychological development of that child for the first 18 to 21 years of their life. A nanny, a day care school provider and even a teacher to some extent is in no sense a replacement for a mother and a father. Though I believe in British Tory Leader David Cameron’s rebuttal on Margaret Thatcher’s statement, “There is no such thing as society. There individuals and their families” I think in this case I am going to be sympathetic to Thatcher’s statement. This also means it does NOT take a village to raise a child (sorry Senator Clinton)—parents ARE the sole responsible (within reason) factor in developing their children. Not friends, not other relatives and most definately NOT the state! Though I get into arguments with a woman at my current church fellowship who has definately a hard-line socialist agenda when it comes to her faith and politics combined, I am also going to agree with Michael Coren that marriage is CHILD-centred, not SELF-centred. As I said on my previous post: It is NOT the traditional family is inherently evil as some would like it be, it is more of those who abuse their positions of authority in the traditional family that is the problem. Let us never forget the difference! My friend Carol will still argue, “If me and Rob want to marry and don’t want to have kids.” Fine, that does happen in certain marriages but the fact remains that the institution of marriage is the “channel” of building a family. I know many other channels are being formed but this old one seems to be the best. We discussed on my other post, that is best to preserve this institution and it is dangerous and silly to tamper with an institution that is thousands of years old and push an alternative which ideas go back at least 40 years. Why I am a continuing this conversation? Well last night at work, when we were on our breaks, I sat down with friends and colleaugues outside our building to have a light chat. Then the issue of marriage came up. My friend Tom believed that it is not important for our day, it just merely a show for friends. I brought up the issue that marriage is not self centred but child centred. Tom proposed the alternative that if you want children find a woman you like and make love to her (I am putting this in gentlemen’s language here). I wish I could take Tom to my apartment building and meet people (especially in the teen years) who just did that. The parents (especially the mother) wished that their daughters could have waited sometime into their 20’s to do that. Why the rush, why the hurry? The teen years (and I would argue the early to mid-20’s as well) is a crucial time (and a very good time) for one to explore who they are and what would be the best way to channel their energies into establishing who they are career-wise. Teenagers (and some young adults) need to understand that having a child is serious business and it is never to be treated casually. Again, some will want to argue again, “What does this still have to do with Halle Berry?” It is Halle Berry’s choice to be pregnant, without being married and is influencing reaffirming attitudes (whether she realizes it or not) that what she is doing has no consequence, anybody can do it, so what if her boyfriend won’t be there all the way—there are other influences. Also, as I mentioned before, she is a woman of African American ancestry and black communities in both the United States and Canada are having a problem of absent fathers and out of wedlock children. Some people may have a “so what” attitude about that, but I don’t (and stubbornly refuse). No community can thrive and prosper without a strong traditional family. One can look at the Jews or Italians and how the strong traditional families benefited them as a community (so the traditional family is not that evil as some extreme leftists like to pretend it is). Why can’t blacks in the U.S. and Canada get on board and reap the benefits? I say it is about time! As for Halle, despite her failed marriages, it is my hope that she does get married to the right guy (whether it is Gabriel Aubry or whoever) who is damn well committed in raising and molding this soon to be born child that will probably take 18 to 21 years. I still sincerely wish her God blessings for her and her soon coming child.